Sunday, 7 September 2008

THE McCAIN MUTINY



“McCain stands in front of a great green screen that makes him look like the undead, which in so many ways he is. The years in captivity, the cancer and age have made a mess of him. He can’t lift his arms above his shoulders. He walks like a man who’s been bayoneted in the groin. He is a man who’s been bayoneted in the groin. But most worrying is his head, which behaves like a rejected muppet.”

Thus, in today’s Sunday Times, the incomparable AA Gill. One of AA’s amazing qualities is the scholarly precision he applies to even the meanest personal detail - and no one put this aspect of the presidential election more brutally than he. It may seem cruel, but it’s long overdue. Let’s face it, unlike Hirst’s Cow in Formaldehyde, McCain put
himself on stage. And this is no pygmy-minded giant-slaying but the honest, if
heart-rending truth.

Stupidity, though, is a different matter:

Not of his appearance or manners necessarily, but of the surfeit of mental rigour and of the free-flowing absence of wit. For AA also speculates that McCain, exemplifying as he does
the spirit of uprightness and integrity, is painfully unprotected against the
conniving nature of political trolls. A symptom of his downfall. And as far as I
am concerned, if Robert E. Lee had had McCain at Gettysburg the outcome might
well have been different. But, now, it just so happens that “He stands there, stiff
and twitching, with his skull grin, a good man, a decent, humane and committed
man, fated by bad luck. It is his destiny to be in the wrong place at the wrong
time, to fall from a great height into the hands of bad people.”

Perplexed? You ought to be, and here's why:

Actually, I'm all for Obama - powerful, charismatic and a natural
talent. But in a predictable reversal, McCain will be elected, precisely because
in America nobody with the name of Barrack Obama can ever enter the White House.
Nor will McCain see the end of his own administration. Washington will endure a
major psychological crisis before 2010 is out. There’ll be rumours of hernias,
rheumatism, melanomas, goitre, scrofula, convulsions, cerebral paralysis and a
riot before the end of his term. He’ll have his head pickled in Botox, and
nothing will move. He’ll then retire on health-grounds, and Beauty Queen Sarah
Palin, the legitimate heir to the throne of America - and now the title proves
prophetic - will be sworn into office...

Gosh, don’t you just love a fairy-tale...

Dreamy

11 comments:

Dick Madeley said...

Interesting prediction, Selena. My heart says Obama should win, but my brain goes for a McCain victory. The fundamentalist Christian vote means that so much of the American electorate runs counter to logic.

mutleythedog said...

McCain not a politicoe? Don't make me laugh. Gills big draw back is that he invents some wonderful position then tries to pretend he believes the truths he bends to make it seem possible. Basically hes a prick.

All Shook Up said...

"Actually, I'm all for Obama - powerful, charismatic and a natural
talent."


You disappoint me, Selena.. he's got all the carefully honed 'charisma and natural talent' of an X-Factor winner, with no worthwhile voice or message beyond being designed for widest appeal whilst causing least offence. A candidate for the 'reality' generation, complete with heartbreak back-story. And the begetter, so far, of the biggest lie in the campaign when he said he accepted the nomination "with humility".

In the debates, though, I'd guess he'll make McCain look the tired old warhorse that he is, though... so I think your man is the most likely next President. Then we'll see what he's made of.

Just a word about Sarah P. The most refreshing thing.. and at the same time, scariest... is that someone from so far outside the political establishment could have such a tilt at power. It could never happen here - which is why the views of 'ordinary' British people on matters that directly affect them have been ignored by our political elite, that knows what's best, for so long.

Selena Dreamy said...

The most refreshing thing.. and at the same time, scariest... is that someone from so far outside the political establishment could have such a tilt at power.

Well, ASU, in fact, that is what I, myself, would ascribe to the x-factor or pop-idol sydrome - which, admittedly, could only happen in America, where old-world cynicism so easily gives way to pure, unadulterated adulation...

Your view of Obama is interesting. I've rarely valued a man for his experience, I judge on personalities - perhaps I'm wrong...but, for what it is worth, I've yet to witness a Presidential election that so held me in thrall.

Selena Dreamy said...

"Basically hes a prick."

I take it you're referring to AA, Mutley, and I'd find it difficult to disagree. He's the meanest of them all. An odd hybrid of intergalactic fantasia and Jack Russell terrier with certain blitzkrieg elements. But I don’t believe he bends the truth - he sees the truth. And there are ways, and ways of seeing.

He can take me out for dinner anytime...

Selena Dreamy said...

“The fundamentalist Christian vote means that so much of the American electorate runs counter to logic.”

Perhaps it is that, Richard.

Certainly, it must have a considerable bearing on the outcome. Though, in all tragic truth, the phonetic resemblance of Obama’s name to his origin is unmistakable, and whereas the strident and necessary assimilation of race is the new ideology, the new value system, the new philosophy, I have my reservations. America, in spite of outward appearances, is neither assimilated nor progressive. Conservatism is the last white hope, and it dies hard...

Colin Campbell said...

Based on my many years of living in America this election is entirely about whether reactionary and conservative Americans trust a nigger to do their bidding.

If there is not a change in party for the President this year, then racial intolerance can be the only explanation.

mutleythedog said...

I have posted that pic you sent me!! Ha - that'll teach you!

Richard Havers said...

Spot on Dreamy. It's really rather depressing that from two hundred and something million people, McCain is the best they can come up with. Doubtless he has been a war hero but that doesn't necessarily make for a President. You're for Obama, which I guess i am too, but it seems like most of Britain judges American politics from our own standpoint on such things. That's a very bad mistake.

Selena Dreamy said...

“If there is not a change in party for the President this year, then racial intolerance can be the only explanation.”

Nor is that to say that there is less prejudice and more understanding on the other side. Whichever way you look at it, there is the same transformation of racial prejudice into liberal imperatives. At the end of the day, of course, spermatozoa do not have prejudices. And the Caucasian race is dwindling...

Selena Dreamy said...

"I have posted that pic you sent me!! Ha - that'll teach you!"

Gosh Muts, really hope none of you readers out there have a heart condition...