THE MANDELSON INTERVIEW...

Much has been made of Sophie Raworth's interview with Peter Mandelson last
Sunday. Below, the original version, courtesy of Iain Dale’s:

PETER MANDELSON: Well thank you very much. You've said I've done nothing wrong.
Therefore what do I have to answer for?
SOPHIE RAWORTH: A lack of judgement. Appearing, socialising with somebody who could benefit from you and your
position as European Trade Commissioner.
PETER MANDELSON: Sophie, Sophie, you cannot do business as a European Trade Commissioner in Russia, India, China,
South Africa, Brazil, all the big emerging economies of the world without having
contact with the big business and economic figures in those countries as well as
the political figures. I make a very clear distinction indeed. I do not allow
any conflict of interest to arise between the contacts I have with these
individuals and how I do my day job. I've now come back to British politics, I'm
now a British minister, I'm governed by the ministerial code. I've signed up to
the ministerial code and I will abide by the ministerial code...


And here is Selena Dreamy’s version of the same
interview:

Peter Mandelson: I'm tired of listening to your bullshit, honey. You've said I've done nothing wrong. Therefore what do I have to answer for? I lay in my bunk until the sun came up. Is it something I've done in my sleep?

Selena Dreamy: A lack of judgement. Appearing, in pyjamas with somebody
who could benefit from you and your position as European Trade Commissioner.

Peter Mandelson: Dreamy, Dreamy (a raucous laugh) you cannot do
business as a European Trade Commissioner in Russia, India, China, South Africa,
Brazil, Scalini’s, San Lorenzo’s, Nobu’s, the Dorchester Grill, and other such
exquisite bijoux, without having erm...contact with the big business and
economic figures in those places as well as the political figures.

Selena Dreamy: In pyjamas?

Peter Mandelson: Sure , if you don’t want to be left out in the cold.

Selena Dreamy: Black tie?

Peter Mandelson: No black tie, just gorilla handshakes and proper
identification. That guy Deripaska makes Don Corleone look like a fruit!

Selena Dreamy: Black socks?

Peter Mandelson: I make a
very clear distinction indeed between pink pyjamas and black socks. I do not
allow any conflict of interest to arise between the erm...contacts I have with
these individuals and how I do my day job. Formerly a young communist, and
recently ennobled, I've now come back to British politics. I'm now a British
minister. Fuck the ministerial code and the camel it rode in on, I have a price
and am not averse to a little luxury.

Selena Dreamy: But you’ve never accepted a favour?

Peter Mandelson: The one thing I never accepted was "no"!

Selena Dreamy: You do know your credibility is on the line?

Peter Mandelson: Absolutely. If life were fair, I'd be singing Castrato
at the Scala. As it stands, the fucking is done. If there's gonna be
any fuckin', it's gonna be me doin' it. It’s starched collars for every one now
who enters my office. I've signed up to the ministerial code and I will abide by
the ministerial code...Now go get the fuck out!

Well, that's show business, folks. Better get some shut eye...

Dreamy