Tuesday, 1 April 2008

MY HOROSCOPE FOR ROBERT GABRIEL MUGABE...



Horoscope for Robert Gabriel Mugabe. President of Zimbabwe. Born February 21.1924:



Once the breadbasket of sub-Saharan Africa, Zimbabwe has experienced an economic and humanitarian melt-down of unprecedented proportions.

And since late February, when the belligerent Mars moved into the most reflective angle of your chart, you, Robert Gabriel Mugabe, have been reviewing how past political directives and concerns have ensnared you and those who plead allegiance to your cause. Indeed, this will be the eighth consecutive year of food shortages since you launched your ill-fated programme of seizing white-owned farms. Part of this was pure terror. In fact, terror has been your principal weapon.

But as Jupiter, the planet of truth and mystery is presently involved, you are forced to address the consequences.

It is a moment devoted to the ecstasy of iconoclasm, the demolition of all kinds of authoritarian hope, a time for discarding old beliefs and ushering in new ones. And if anyone tells you this time will be easy, don't believe them. Indeed, you will be plagued by the visible presence, not of spirits, but of demons from African mythological pre-history, who will show themselves in a thousand different guises, compromising your own political exit and forcing you to recommit to those solutions that are still available.

While voters have been driven away with tear-gas and batons, the World Food Programme has been distributing food aid to more than 1.5m people, nearly 10% of the population. But in the end they will be left with nothing. No obstacles, no standards, no values, no sense of continuity with the past or purpose for the future. And one night when the moon is blood - subsequently to be known as The Night of the Long Knives - rampaging mobs throughout Zimbabwe will attack Zanu-Pf affiliates in the streets, in their homes, and at their places of work. Dozens of your party cronies will be bludgeoned to death and hundreds more maimed; more than a thousand homes will be burned; almost as many businesses ransacked, cemeteries and government offices vandalized, and thousands arrested, sent to detention camps, or put before international human rights tribunals...

And with that in mind, Robert Gabriel Mugabe, when it is time to resolve whether you ought to stay in government or leave office, you should have no problem in making up your mind.

(Miss Dreamy’s astrological analyses are spontaneous and available to members of national governments worldwide).

3 comments:

elberry said...

Selena, if only these fools would listen to you. Let's have no more tyrants, we should be sick of them by now.

Selena Dreamy said...

The problem, Elberry, was in fact rather accurately stated by Nietzsche: I wish preachers of speedy death would come! But I hear preached only slow death and patience with all ‘earthly things.’

And nowhere, in fact, is this more apparent than when the world community, despite its ostensible preoccupation with international principles of a moral obligation, declares itself incompetent to inquire into the circumstances under which the dogma of state sovereignty becomes the pretext for despotic or sometimes genocidal governments to corrupt the very principles which ought to be the real motivating concern of an international legal authority...

God, how I detest hypocrisy!

Dreamy

Semaj Mahgih said...

Gruesome is the only appropriate word for Mugabe's projected end.