NAOMI CAMPBELL - The Memorandum on Race

“They have lost my f****** bags, get me another flight, get the press, get me my lawyer...“

Oh yes! It sounds grim enough and no doubt was. The bawling, the shrieking, the thrashing, the high Cs and cacophonetic vernacular. A classic example of the assertion that Blacks, whenever possible, see themselves as victims, and while resenting their victim status, nevertheless tend to wallow in it. Naomi Campbell exploded with a rage that was in fact an outrageous proposition:

“It is because I am a black woman, you are all racists...you wouldn’t be doing this if I was white...I am going to f*** you!“

The prejudice of ascribing character and ability to race is so obvious it barely requires repetition. But the truth of the matter is nevertheless, that, for better or for worse, humans have long colluded in an ideal of Western beauty. Already, Helen of Troy was claimed to be the most beautiful woman of classical antiquity, and to this day we have continued to buy into a collective epitome. We‘ve been conditioned, no less, by the classical perception of beauty and reinforced it with the type of female role-model that can be seen every day on television. The television attracts mythomaniacs, people who wish to convince the world of their superiority. But almost inevitably, it gives other "inferior” people an often unattainable ideal of beauty. And while this may be a simplistic view, it is nevertheless deeply felt, and it certainly needs to be taken into account in any analysis of the antagonism which plainly exists between people of African origin and their Caucasian light-skinned counterpart.

If you can never inhabited an ideal, naturally you feel resentful of it.

Promoters of Western beauty products determine everything and it doesn't do any good for the psyche of another race to be presented with an ideal of beauty that is inherently inaccessible. It is a dilemma that proves insoluble. Stark African faces with Negroid features are instantly recognizable. Michael Jackson took the hard way out. He bleached his skin and gallantly modelled his face on that of Elizabeth Taylor. Naomi Campbell, of course, has long since been accepted as a natural beauty by a public to whose commonplace priorities and prejudices she always gave a glamorous setting.

“When two races meet,”, said Charles Darwin, “they fight each other.” And until the black man comes to terms with the fact that he’s not white, the problem of racism will continue to persist. Indeed, it must be wrong to legislate against it. Far from having been an interlude of racial reconciliation and mutual consolation, the damage done by the race relations industry to this country has been incalculable. The campaign of racial grievance was not a conciliatory one. Nor is the problem one of prejudice, it is one of inadequacy. Accusations of prejudice are the defences thrown up to protect a deeply wounded personality which has never recovered from the savaging it received in its colonial infancy.

The situation in America is even more remarkable.

As if to underline a change of status, race is no longer about skin colour. It is about the consolidation of a phenomenon: black culture, or ghetto prophets who preach a brand of thug philosophy or gangsta rap sociology. One may doubt its motives, and indeed sanity, but in the mind and psyche of the gangsta it is payback time. Appropriately, one in nine black men aged between 20 and 34 is in prison, while the average 17-year-old black student has the academic skills of a 14-year-old white pupil, compounding what appears to be a decided racial imbalance, and leaving blacks intentionally forbidding and self-consciously antagonistic.

So, can all their problems still be blamed on the familiar evils of white discrimination?

With every other major race, Chinese, Indian, Asian, the atmosphere is cordial and relaxed, but the Negro has made it plain that for him the problem is not simply one of creating prosperity. Nor will he ever bear a joke at his own expense. By all means, call me ungenerous, but any tribe of people who are unable to laugh at themselves is deprived indeed. This notwithstanding, James Watson, the discoverer of DNA lost his job as director of the Cold Spring Harbour Laboratories in America after suggesting that Africans were less intelligent than Europeans. In fact, when I was a student the climate was already intimidating. You weren’t permitted to talk about racial differences, even though the very idea of a universally conform racial intelligence is bound to be a fairy tale. Critics may complain that one is “racialising” intelligence by claiming that some groups are genetically less intelligent than others, but clearly, human intelligence cannot be bought, found or acquired. And intellectual dexterity is a development problem, as much as it is linked to social standing. Indeed, I would find it very hard to believe that the “noble savage” of undeveloped lands might be illumined by a higher philosophy or a more outstanding intelligence than those of the industrialised West, let alone the ancient cultures of the East. Their entire history is based on the quest for knowledge, whereas that of the African seems rather unfinished and very different from the rest of the world.

A subsequent analysis of Watson’s own DNA showed that he had part-African ancestry, which, if you think about it, rather explains his “inadequacy” - at least according to his own theory.

Dreamy

IS THERE INTELLIGENT LIFE ON EARTH....?

Greetings, Earthlings...Selena is back! And none the worse for it.

But honestly, folks, having safely returned from a symposium by the Galactic Centre for Terrestrial Studies (GCTS) - the Ophiuchusian equivalent of the Royal Society - I remain somewhat isolated in believing that intelligent life might actually exist on earth. And may this be last time, please God, that I am ever called upon to defend it. What’s more, many Ophiuchusians hold views on human intelligence that do not alight well with politically correct doctrine as disseminated on this planet. But since political correctness has frequently pronounced me a racist bitch, a homophobic anti-feminist, and potentially insane, it is not - in my opinion - entirely to be trusted. Nor was I deliberately trying to be provocative. Let’s face it, plain human idiocy stuffed in a closet of political correctness gets no less stultifying with being aired. But I beg you, nevertheless, fellow-aliens, to give a moment of your time to this particular post, and to try and stick with it to the end.

To begin with, I concede readily every person’s right to his own opinion on the merits of any topic they’re appraising. Needless to say. But I do reserve the right to resent very emphatically any climate change sceptic who writes from an ivory tower. Indeed, I note, that there's still zero empirical evidence that anthropogenic production of CO2 is making any measurable contribution to the warming trend. And I hate to call anyone a liar. Fact is, I also humbly acknowledge the intriguing scientific case that the world is in a global thaw after the last Ice Age, rather than warming to 6,5 billion people putting out 7 billion tons of carbon into the atmosphere.

That’s fine by me. That and the filth...

Nor am I about to embark on an asinine harangue about buggeroff benefits of carbon capture technology. I really couldn't give a monkey's. And I don’t care tuppence either about anthropogenic chlorofluorocarbons or impending ozone depletion. That's clean over my head, if you don’t mind the pun. But what I do care about - the joy of sex apart - is not getting mugged, stabbed, run over, poisoned, asphyxiated, raped, or urinated on, the moment I step out of doors. Frankly, you don’t need chlorofluorocarbon-science to capture the true chaotic horror of the Biblical admonition “go forth and multiply.” The countryside is humanity’s scrap yard. We are in each other's faces as never before. Humans are compressing the Earth's Lebensraum with no hint of the horror to come. Gaia’s demographic bounty, certainly no less than every bit of contaminated, tarmac-fouled, urbanised, poisonous, gasoline-and-pesticide polluted countryside, richly attests to that. And what are we doing? We feature in a comedy that aims to remind people to turn off their lights?

Lord give me strength...!

There are now almost seven billion of us on this blue and fragile planet. There will be nine billion in less than forty years' time. What happens when people start arguing, not about lightbulbs but food and water? And there’s no doubt they will. What are we going to do when people start arriving on our shores fleeing not political persecution but environmental catastrophe?

Shoot them, I suppose.

There are more than 11m abandoned children in India alone, where in a growing number of vast urban slums newborn babies are being dumped anonymously in cots placed outside orphanages. Perversely - in an extraordinary subversion of UN population policy - in some Eurocountries, such as France, governments have introduced financial incentives for women to have more than two children. The Spanish government awards £ 2,000 to mothers on the birth of each child. China, by contrast - and this is where I can’t help approving, callous bitch that I am - executes more than 10,000 people a year (albeit the wrong sort). Obviously, they’ve seen too much of it to have any respect for human life. In fact, the Chinese government has moved away from economic incentives for children and awards punishment, instead. And not just punishment. Babies are snuffed out. Or abandoned at birth on rubbish heaps, doorsteps, bus stops, railway stations and hospitals.

In Britain they live in a fool's paradise

An English mum was aiming for her eighth child last year. Set to become the most prolific surrogate mother in the UK by carrying other couple's babies. A number of British mothers have even frozen their eggs so their infertile daughters can use them to give birth. Others are selling them. And not only eggs. The government is to sanction fatherless families by giving single women and lesbian couples an entitlement to fertility treatment. Dozens of gay British men - who for fear of a libel action I hesitate to call parasitic - have paid about £33,000 to create a child of their chosen sex on an IVF programme for two-father (sic) families. Eureka: a 67-year-old woman became the world’s oldest mother when she gave birth to twins after having travelled to America for IVF.

We are an astonishing nation!

Here we have an advanced technological species failing under the weight of idiotic affirmative action, bogus equal opportunity, endemic kleptocracy, escalating traffic congestion, and chaotic maladministration, while trying to save the world with low-energy light bulbs, solar panels, windmills, and compulsory loft-insulations. No wonder, the Galactic Centre for Terrestrial Studies showed no particular interest in what, clearly, it assumes to be a superannuated and elusive fragment of a declining terrestrial race, switching off the lights with a feeling of foreboding in their hearts, though obviously no brains in their heads.

Truth to tell, I myself have few virtues - my incurable passion for adorable fat little babies apart - but I do know that population management, not carbon manipulation, is our only shot at survival.

What this pathetic, mendacious effort in carbon capture technology leads to is simply a decline in futuristic and scientific imagination, and perceptions of a coming new dark age rather than visions of the conquest of space. The introduction of mediaeval windmill machinery instead of nuclear fusion technology, brutalised fossil expertise, and an atrophy of cosmic creativity, while lacking the elegance and conditional structures essential for evolutionary thinking, to say nothing of the failure to build highly optimised conceptual frameworks in space - the whole point of evolution and the basis of a higher-order human identity.

‘Ever fewer climb with me up ever higher mountains,’ Nietzsche once wrote, but for God‘s sake, homo sapiens, turn on the lights...

Dreamy