Saturday, 29 November 2008


Yup, I went through some rather agonizing moments in the bath this morning and I’ve come up with the conclusion that the only solution is to own up.
Silence is a wonderful weapon, but then, no one really knows how to handle it - especially me… and under present legislation I could actually be held for 28
days on nothing but dry bread and water…


Here, then, is THE ÜBERMENSCH CONSPIRACY, and you win no prizes for guessing that this is what finally led Special Branch to conclude that they were wasting the government’s time and resources on an inquiry that was going nowhere. In fact, I make bold to prophesy that this will be the future stance of MI5 after they have perused its contents, i.e. a dead-pan parody of international
conspiracy and of certain strains of political hypocrisy. Max McDowell’s angle is not altogether the conventional one, admittedly, but, I for one, remain profoundly struck by the forensic evidence presented. And clearly, the involvement of such individuals as foreign secretaries, ministers of the interior and heads of states is so pervasive in any case, that they tend to fall outside or go beyond the scope of the merely judicial process.

Nevertheless, McDowell has scored an impressive world exclusive. An
expatriate based in London, he’s a tough, self-regulating character with an
astute and ever-present sense of life's absurdity. It is of course painful for me
to know how much I have contributed to his present dilemma, and the passage of
two weeks has done nothing to assuage his outrage. But what we have here is a
personal eyewitness account, documenting seemingly cheap satirical fiction which in
reality is down and dirty fact. Indeed, the fact is, that police only withdrew a
file on his findings to the Crown Prosecution Service last month after an
undercover investigation by Der Spiegel judged it to be a John Grisham emulation. You will
realize what can be done with this sort of story by a writer with the gift of
ambience and the requisite touch of satirical sadism. Which is of course why it
is still the subject of a parliamentary inquiry in Berlin amid growing demands
by Christian Democrats to identify those responsible for 9/11.

But then, of course, Germans are not meant to have a sense of humour -
they are expected to be dour and rigid. For that, surely, is how the world at
large loves to hate them best.

So far as my own participation is concerned, I confirm that I had no
involvement in, or responsibility for, the alleged coup. In fact, McDowell never
directly reveals the true identity of his “sensual, sultry, seductive,
enigmatic, loving, stimulating and yet, compassionate“
Selena, but one can
hardly call him tight-lipped either. Which is a very sore point with me
(Bastard!). Being called upon to perform some two dozen times, I much regret
that my true nature will finally be revealed. What I'm trying to convey is that
my entire history is something I have nothing to do with. But then again, I’ve
long since wondered if I shouldn’t be someone else. I do feel your interest has
been waning boys, and so I might as well own up. Much to the unashamed relief of
Sir Percy, no doubt, who has the peculiar distinction of being the only person
ever to have been banned from this blog and who - by his own admission - comes
here for the sole purpose of jerking off…

Now, how cool is that?



Gorilla Bananas said...

You're not hairy enough to turn me on, madam, but I can recommend a good ointment for your sore point.

Anonymous said...

Pretty cool.

Selena Dreamy said...

..which reminds me, Elberry - I’m just perusing a volume entitled The Better Maker - or should I say, perhaps, The Laureate of the Loner. No doubt you're familiar with it?

I expect, it will be reviewed on this site...!


Anonymous said...

Oh, you're one of the eight people who shelled out for it! As i said on my blog, it is a LIMITED work - mainly clearing my personal history out so i could go on (if i live & don't lose interest) to write about things that are more interesting. But i am quite pleased with it, for what it is - a first novel.

Anonymous said...

oh, by the way, the German vineyard poem you quoted on your Elberry-post was most apposite, as i've found this autumn...

Sir Percy Stilton said...

Selena, I am surprised that someone so full of cuteness, comedy & kultur could have got me so wrong.
I could tell you a story about my connection to your beautiful blog but for now, I am lost for words and am saddened into silence by your slurs.

Selena Dreamy said...

Silence is a wonderful weapon, Sir Percy, provided you know how to handle it…!

Anonymous said...

That’s all very well, Selena, and somehow rather ambiguous, but what readers with an IQ over 10 are now beginning to wonder - and this is before Percy jerks off again - are you perhaps Max McDowell?

Anonymous said...

So to recap...

Your friend Max is an ubermensch? and he foiled the 9/11 bombers... which got the Christian Democratic Party to declare hum President?

is that it?

Selena Dreamy said...

My lips are sealed…

Anonymous said...

I have been worrying about your agonizing moments in the bath... did this involve a loofah at all? Would you like a hand applying some soothing creams...?

Jonathan said...

Lovely picture this one Selena

Jonathan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.