Tuesday, 12 April 2016

THE GUARDIAN - A Crisis of Masculinity !

The following is the unedited version of an exposé currently featured in the 20th revised edition of Malleus Maleficus'  [title withheld]. If you wish to report intrusiveness, racism or inaccuracies, please email MalleusMaleficus@aol.com  To make a formal complaint under IPSO rules please contact IPSO directly at ipso.co.uk .  
"Of man there is little here: therefore do their women masculinise themselves. For only he who is man enough, will - save the woman in woman." 

Then the media screwballs: Helen Lewis, deputy editor of the New Statesman, ever on the brink of an orgasm, and  the public moralist Gaby Hinsliff - duly impregnated by her longterm association with The Guardian, such as has often been linked with elongated foreheads, narrow limbs, skinny face, turned down mouth and a permanently disapproving X-chromosome, a gene apparently attuned to the ascetic sense of 16th-century Calvinist heretics.  And finally, there was my friend Andrew Sullivan: “a married homosexual”- in his own upright words – “who still clings to the truth of the Gospels and the sacredness of the church.”
          In short, the perfect spouse.
          “Just because you are saving yourself for your husband, doesn’t mean we can’t have platonic sex,” Gaby  cooed sweetly, slipping one arm under his elbow. And Andrew for his part told Gaby touchingly, if rather optimistically, that he would rise to the occasion. Helen Lewis then wanted to  know what constituted “consummation” of a gay or lesbian marriage; whereas I, with my gift for missing the point, began to wonder if Alice Arnold was ‘the wife’ of Clare Balding, and Clare Balding ‘the wife’ of Alice Arnold, what happened to the good old-fashioned ‘husband’, anyway? Or was there something weirder at work? I only ask because I always thought the fundamentally complementary roles of wife and  husband would be the  provider of procreative delight as well as a celebration of civic virtues.
For the thing that chills me most about same sex marriage, is not Clare, or her passion for Alice, but the people who call it a natural human right. Indeed, it is a measure of the pseudo-social dominance the gay rights movement has achieved at this time that the ‘vociferous’ minority all but outnumbers the silent majority.  And this troubles me. It troubles me because it is evidence of a continuing and historical, specifically Caucasian decline. Common sense has retreated in the Western hemisphere. In its place there has arisen a desire to demonstrate that a 21st century marriage mock-up has a self-supporting structure of natural rights that can exist even without the pro-creative foundation that has given the bi-polar union life. The only problem is that this is utter bollocks. The whole argument is bogus. At its heart, moreover, is an industry that feeds on insecurity. To put it delicately, coitus per anum, per os, or inter femora, produces no offspring.  And to
describe the social recognition of a same sex civil union as a ‘marriage’  does not do justice to either the scale or the nature of marriage as a procreative biological relationship between a man and a woman.  Nor is this a ‘homophobic’ issue. We are now in the realms of cultural anthropology, or what its apologists charmingly call “life-style transitioning”,  where  everyone is convinced that men have got to stop trying to be men, that “the old idea of being a tough, silent, strong man who never cries has lethal consequences,” at least when judged by  the significant rise in male suicides. So, the self-harmers, anorexics and the suicidal are persuaded to meet, share their experiences and encourage each other, when my own view is that the celebration of a physical difference also recognizes that seemingly ‘unequal’ biological attributes might be complementary rather than contradictory. Or that there is a hint of the equality of the grave in this contrived egalitarianism. The demise of a civilization that is bulimic, suicidal and riddled with tics and angst. Welcome, then, to End of Days, the virtual-equality world that is taking the planet by storm.


Alicia P. said...

Close enough, I guess. Telling a Guardinista she looks thin could be irritating. It's a bit like telling a crack whore she looks wasted, erm...

Sonja & Susanne said...

Don’t let the buggers grind you down, Eleanor, we are with you!!

Bill Ballantine said...

The Guardian can claim a few heretics; but no saints or thinkers, annd if David Baddiel is (said to be) behind this, the painful truth is that the reading public has got the "Guardian" it deserves!