Thursday, 21 February 2008

SELENA'S HONOUR!

Fame can be such a fickle bride.

One day the public can’t get enough of you, the next day you’re history. Nor is this to ignore the many fellow bloggers who have been cordial, online and otherwise. But sadly, I discerned a recent habituation to my blog, having come away from my latest posts with a marked decline in popularity.

As the astute Anonymous remarked: “You ought to be locked up.” Or the even more astute Galileo Galilei: “You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it for himself.”

Bingo!

One transitory lapse in concentration and you’re dead meat.
I am not offended.
Hollywood is full of people who are unhappy (or soon will be). Worse - they’ve got nothing to say.

I live and learn.

Currying gratuitous favours, obviously, is not the answer. A women may perjure herself as a matter of expediency, to salvage her honour. She ought not, however, jeopardize her integrity for such a reason. So my programme to solve the riddle of creation and spare humanity the fate all things transient, has to be put on hold for the present. Obviously, I seem destined to bear every burden alone. What’s more, I am going to have to start trying harder. Accordingly, having spent three days in preparation, committing the whole thing to paper and rehearsing semantic techniques, my next post will be delivered in Latin.

And here’s a choice of available topics of which, I very much hope, you will be able to agree on one.

1.) Is Richard Madeley the reincarnation of the notorious Lord Byron?
2.) Is Mutleythedog the reincarnation of my tomcat Tutsman?
3.) How to avoid global warming without even trying.
4.) My true encounter with a Flying Saucer!
5.) How to solve the Riddle of Creation - by guest-blogger Stephen Hawking (subject to availability)
6.) How I got seduced by a man in a fedora and large sunglasses, who was pretending to be Mr Big, and got me to meet him at the SpearmintRhino.

Please state your preference, and, in return, receive a signed copy of my best-selling autobiography plus £ 2.00 for the most favourable answer (- both subject to availability).


Dreamy

7 comments:

Richard Madeley said...

Selena, if by popularity you mean readers, I can only speak for myself and confess that I've been distracted elsewhere. This has nothing to do with the quality of your blog. It's one of the first places I check every day. I'm just having a few days when I'm coming to terms with my new reality. In other words, I'm sitting sulking and feeling generally bad about the world. I've not even updated today. I'll be back. Please carry on writing. I need something to inspire me at the moment.

As to your question: most definitely. I'm very mad, bad, and dangerous to know. Just ask Judy.

Richard Havers said...

Well, one visit deserves another. So here I am.

I'd have gone for the creative riddle, but probable wouldn't have understood line one, having been asked to leave both Physics and chemistry after getting nil points in both my o level mocks.

I think maybe I'd like No.6, if only to find out if Mr. Big really was. Then again maybe he still is.

Jonathan said...

For what its worth my attention upon you is keen and lively and happy to have found you.

Selena Dreamy said...

Gentlemen, your expressions of loyalty are much appreciated, even though my objective is not to preach to the converted. My mission in life is to educate and to enlighten, to radically alter perceptions...

... which reminds me, I'm off to see Mr Big!

D.

Istvanski said...

"How I got seduced by a man in a fedora".
I look forward to reading about your time with Malcolm Allison.

mutleythedog said...

I am of course utterly loyal... in return for sexual favours and small scraps of meat..

Anonymous said...

I'd go for the business with the flying saucer; it might explain plenty.

Did you have any contact with the fabled Crystal Skull of Peru?


Don't bother about sour old curmgeons like me; Terry Pratchet and that other deranged bloke called something like Fford can't go on forever; I have hopes your madness can make you a fortune, just don't expect to take good people like me over the cliff with you.




I'd write more, but it's time for lunch....