Saturday, 1 March 2008

CAUSE AND EFFECT!

bretwalda edwin-higham: I'm seriously not trying to be funny but what exactly is erectile dysfunction? You mean it won't go up?

Elberry: An angry German Feminist once told me that every time a man looks at a woman he's oppressing her. Not 'every time a man looks at porn' or even 'every time a man looks at an image of a woman' but 'every time a man looks at a woman'

Imagine the scene:


There he is, ensconced with a diehard feminist, sharing a romantic dinner for two. He’s recovered from watching her eat stag's testicles, and decided that downing all that tequila could have happen to anyone. He’s reluctantly discovered that she brought her own handcuffs, a change of knickers and two tubes of sexual lubricant. He never permitted himself to stare at her cleavage because of what a German Feminist has explained to him about the deeply chauvinistic nature of the ‘male pornographic gaze'. Eventually, as he sips his brandy, he pops the sweetest question that you he possibly conceive of: "Tell me what you think, darling,” he purrs, “do you think the Earth is at the centre of the universe?"

She slams down her Tequila and says without hesitation: "In an infinite universe, every point can be regarded as the centre, because every point has an infinite number of stars in either direction. Now are you going to get the bill, or am I?"

When the female challenges male authority the result is stress!

Stress causes all sorts of hormones and adrenaline to run amok around the body, which may cause the blood vessels to constrict. That, in turn, can instigate malnutrition of the male member, and starve it of adrenalin. He’s no longer sure how to gain the required altitude. His phallus has all the feel and texture of having been in the deepfreeze all evening. It seems brittle and stone-cold. It is a stiff whose death he’s hesitating to announce. A libidinous coup de grace. Absolutely moribund!

Of course, what she should have said, tilting her head in soft contemplation, is this: "Why don't we go out into the night, my sweet, and take a look at the stars?"

An effect is the measure of its cause!










Dreamy

4 comments:

Helen said...

And a wise woman knows how to deliver such a cause. Indeed, the feminine arts don't stop with a fluttering lash or a smooth white throat.

Selena Dreamy said...

Thank you Helen - and I notice a conspicuous absence of male commentators...

mutleythedog said...

I am distinctly male- as I have made plain - I must admit to enjoying a bit of porn ogling. You can find plenty via links on my blog. Also lovely Rups - listed as Fuckeries has a massive collection of links... Have i missed the point again?

Selena Dreamy said...

Yes Mutley, you've missed the point again, very comprehensively, but - still, you are the most affectionate dog I know, and you need a lot of love in return...

D.